$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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