If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
