you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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