Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
