Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
