You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
