My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
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I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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