just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
