my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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