Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
