He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
