Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize