She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
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There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
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I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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