While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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