I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
