if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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