Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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