Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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