Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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