Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
