Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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