Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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