what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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