i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
