You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
