Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
