do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
