we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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