I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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