Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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