I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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