she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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