we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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