I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
