I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
my liver is dry heaving
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
