How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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