That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
