If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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