Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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