you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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