My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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