My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
