If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
