toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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