Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
