Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Found your dick twin last night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
