he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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