I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
