i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
