There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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