:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
