whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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