I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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