At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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