Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he puts the penis in happiness.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
tonight lets celebrate not being married
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm too high and old for this...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
