Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I faked an abortion last night.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
