She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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