you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
