What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
