My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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