All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
