You're a womanizer and a bitch.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
