I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
