yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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