Little spoons don't ask big questions
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
